Rejection Recovery Plan
Five ways to keep brush-offs from keeping you down
Val Baldwin, CPC
Live Your Ultimate Life
Unless rejection is at a megalevel (your spouse files for divorce; your mother cuts you out of her will),
it shouldn't ruin your day, your week, or even your year. In fact, psychologists have found that when it's
handled correctly, rejection can be a blessing in disguise. And surviving it requires no fancy footwork -
just 5 simple steps will help you see "No" in a whole new light.
- SIZE UP THE STING. Whether it's your best friend not returning your call for days or being
slighted by your boss, sometimes the initial pain of being rejected is worse than the actual wound. No matter
how bad you feel in the moment of rejection, taking a second look at the incident may reveal that your first
reaction was a bit over-the-top. All these other feelings take over, magnifying the initial hurt. Revisiting
a rejection after a few days can help you see how much of the suffering is real and how much is imagined.
- ASK YOURSELF, IS THIS ABOUT THEM OR ABOUT ME? We live in a world where people make choices.
Some will like your personality and some won't. It's a reflection of their values, not your inherent worth.
Take yourself off the hook.
- LICK YOUR WOUNDS. A rejection is basically a loss. You need to take some time to make yourself
feel better. A small shopping spree? Pedicures? Yes! Go ahead and treat yourself to that hot-fudge sundae.
You need comforting, and that's a legitimate way to get it. Don't ever feel guilty about making yourself feel good.
It's part of the healing process.
- LEARN FROM THE PAIN Rejection is a harsh teacher, but its lessons can be invaluable - if you're willing
to absorb them. Too many adults avoid experiences that could lead to rejection - and thus deprive themselves of life's
great adventures. Personal growth only happens in situations where we have to reassess ourselves. Rejection is
a catalyst for gaining insight.
- SEE THE BIG PICTURE One way to prepare yourself for whatever ego deflation that tomorrow may bring is to
revisit some old rejections today. Take that rejection and size it up, figure out who it was really about, and figure
out what lessons you learned. Old rejection incidents don't seem so overwhelming now that you know life goes one.
You need to apply that same attitude to current rejections.
Bottom line: As long as you live, breathe, and take chances, rejection will occasionally find you. Don't let it keep
you down, learn from your experiences and understand that life's greatest lessons can come from our most difficult